POST GRADUATION....

First lemme congratulate myslef.....  Congratulation!
now lemme enjoy the moment for a while forgetting every other possible things that can run on my mind.

yeah! finally I nailed it... literally, i am a Graduate now....
well well, lemme pour out all the bitterness that i had to swallow during that heavy a week trail.

the days when i inhaled coffee like air and was still able to sleep like a log....
the mornings when i detest the morning sun creeping through the curtains...
the time when i reached out to shut off the bloody alarm and gotten me late....
the dinner time, when  i had to cook when all i wanted to do was to insert a food tube inside me...
the valuable time, when i had to nook into the noted when i so wanted to go out for movies...
the irreversible time, when i had to look like a walking zombie instead of a sleeping zombie...
the laced time, when i had to do laundering when i should be shopping...
the tangled time, when i had to sleep with my notes when i should be resting on the feathered couch...

but it wasnt that bad  coz....
i had the time to watch shows all day long with the notes closed in my hand,, even on the night of my finals...
Gossip Girl, 90210, American Next Topmodel 9,10,13.....thanx to cendy!
you saved me from poking my nose in those thick notes....
my ultimate ode to those coffee manufacturers.. even though the effect sort of died on me... but stilll, I appreciate the taste and the effort!

A damn round of applause to me, for breaking all the rules of exam study and still managing to pass at somebody's will..... luv ya...
Post Graduation, i am jobless, in the sense that i am no longer a student and i have got nothing in my hand!
but I am finding time to make myself feel all the more useless and carefree... but still responsible!

i am retrieving myself to the shopping world but everybody knows how much I dont prefer it! shopping aint bad but I am not worth that extravaganza...oopsy!
Meanwhile, i am engaged in thinking about the world that i left behind and now i gotta go back to it and most importantly face it with a smile! fingers crossed!

guess everything runs out for a reason and lord! gimme a reason worth reasoning...

IT'S ME THAT I AM KNOWNED FOR...

It’s the feeling. Deep inside that I am drowned into!

It’s the depth. Dug below that I am heaved into!

It’s the berth. Dark down that I am sunk into!

It’s the dark. Pitched back that I am blackened to!

It’s the phobia. Strongly seized that I am habituated to!

It’s the alcove. Beautifully woven that I am caught into!

It’s the catch. Stalwartly hold that I am secured onto!

It’s the cosset. Comfortably clutched that I am clanged onto!

It’s the crowd. Massively thronged that I am belonged to!

It’s the feel. Powerfully chained  that I am reasoned to!

It’s the light. Brightly shone that I am adhered to!

It’s the rays. Elegantly scattered that I am bathed into!

It’s the ripples. Justly formed that I am drunk into!

It’s the hands. Trustily held that I am linked with!

It’s the faces. Pleasantly smiled that I am welcomed to!

It’s the life. Blessedly bestowed that I am lived to!

It’s the cycle. Justified by me that I am circled in it!

FAR-AWAY WISH...

Your single wish makes my day….

Though you are far-fetched away…

You took the pain to alleviate me…

Your wish on my day…

Makes my day worthwhile…

I was born to greet your wish…

I smile in the fear of smiling again…

Knowing that my tear won’t fetch a smile…

I dream of the day when you will stand beside me..

Light up my birthday candles…

And blew all my Birthday candles with me…

A whiff of your breath can chill my days…

A touch of your hand can warm my soul…

I am addicted to your warmth…

I am obsesses with your addiction…

You may know I am here for you…

 You may also know I was here for you always…

Your light shines on me…

I am a gratitude to your LOVE…

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE CARED LESS...

 It goes without saying that I am handicapped- handicapped in every way when I am put into situation liek this. Like this situation when i know not what to say and how to defend. All the time i keep on thinking, why cant i say someting that can make everybody go numbed at that instance and forever. I just want to see everybody jaws falling when Ispeak my final truth but I am tied up. why am i so tied up? I have no answer to that. i keep on falling in my own words of silence.
Can somebody please back me up and tale a tale for me?
you cant be expecting me to defend myself coz you know well that i am allergic to defence but you can shield me coz you are also falling in the same allegations.
when words are spoken to mean something, I do not ignore the meaning but I do not accept the meaning too. you are no part of me to echo on my behalf and i am myself, not to echo back to your ignorance....
I read somewhere, "LIFE IS BUT A BED OF ROSES" but dont foregt roses are adorned with thorns...
you may think life is beautiful with your sarcasm but trust me, your sarcasm, may madden somebody! least I am not that somebody to succumb but I will construct it as my rose of living....

I admit I am helpless in my own ways but I am not hapless in my ways....

DA STEPS DAT I TOOK...

Sunday, the 25th april...

Being driven to the foothil of the BROGA was interestingly uneasy and anticipated particularly after my very early rise and shine at around 4:30am. Hastingly, I shoved myself into the back seat to wander off half-asleep. It was around 5:30am when my feet finally touched the ground in midst of a large crowd of early hikers. I was acompanied by 5 friends and a bag of apples and oranges and bottles of water on my hunched back. With tempted early chill, we slowly began tracing the steps that followed before us with torch light gazing on the ground like the floating moon. Halfway at my progress, I brushed myself against the numerous weeds and grasses that allied the track. Tall poplar trees interespered with the grasses, at times supporting the weak body that was being thrushed forward with every deep step. The climb became steeper with the slanting hill and I could hear the breeze flowing between my damp hair. The journey to the first hill was easy and smooth with my breath still intact. The little town lay still asleep in the early hours with the street lights torched high. As i turned around, I could see the two hills that I need to conquer. Quickly I unpaked my bag and all of us churned in for some light breakfast of bread and tuna along with the fruits that I had burdened to carry. hmmm how can I forget the photo session. It was the time for the actors to fall for the stage... hehehhe...

we stil had two more hills to conquer but we thought it was wise enough to witness the sunrise  from the first hill and then move forward. Before long, the cloud started to move apart and the sky began filling itself with shades of blue giving way to the glow of the sun. the view was spectacular as I followed the eye of the sun. As the heat gained momentum, the flashes became more evident and so the people now seem to be transperant... and full of life as the activity resumes.
the perch on the next hill was short and nice. It was a diferent feeling to be following the monkey steps in climbing the great rock and view the world in my vicinity....  The heat flashed high on the brow of everybody to feel its intensity. well, the crowd started gaining popularty so we made a quick move to thin it out. so, we began reversing our steps... everybody knows, the journey downhill is as consistent as the sleep... so there we go with the jumping steps and flowing sweats.... and the longing for the nice cosy sleep....


P.S.  my eyelids refuses to slid open... cant help

dreaming the dream of reality...

THE EARLY RISE..

ALIFT ME....

Sparkle of love afloat in the wide space…


I look on with eyes of admiration…

Rays of red light scatter in the night…

I am bathed in that scarlet of love…

Twinkle of laughter arise in the air…

I join with swift of exhilaration…

Notes of music breeze in the heavens…

I am blessed with countless nightingales…

Beads of affection are threaded in every corner…

I am beaded with thread of warmth…

Cluster of fireflies shone in my way…

I am lit up in the light of the bay…

RESULT OUT....

Oh ya... the final stress for the year was to be relieved only in the new year....
A week after the reopening of the university, i got my so called progress card which read the opposite.
i guess i anticipated it in full trust of my negligance...
Can i not believe what i saw... i scored the lowest in my english paper... holy shit.... gimme a break and coz of that my entire percentage volume went down the ladder. m so screwed up but cant help it either...
oh ya, i expceted my reuslt to slide down further and to my astonishment, it didn;t.
i am happy for myself....
i served myself judiciously for my neat mistake...

everything that ends well, begins well... 
hope for better times.... ;) XD

Cyclonic EMOTIONS....

I swirl in ecstasy …

You blink: not even once…

I whirl in bliss…

You know: not in which direction…

I twirl in love…

You retort: not with affection…

I spin in joy…

You smile: not knowing why…

I thrill in excitement…

You jump: with no desire…

I smile in glee….

You beam: with no rays…

I whip in anguish…

You notice: not my misery…

I churn in distress:

You empathize: not my feelings…

I whip in tears…

You wipe: not my emotions…

I lash in forlorn …

You accompany: not my soul….

I chuck in darkness…

You light: not my night…

I write in thoughts…

You care: not the words…

I poem in you…

You recite: not the feel…

I pray in hope…

You implore: not the dream…

I dream in smile…

You listen: not the sweetness…

I hold in faith…

You fathom: not the struggles…

I reach in you…

You arrive: not with the heart…

I reason in fairness…

You justice: not the blinded…

I AM GONE.... far away from me....

A new year of confrontation and confirmation, I am still searching for the perfect compromise. I stepped into the New Year with lots of aspirations and wishes but I feel like I am falling away from it. I am completely lost in my own world, which I have created. I am sheltering myself in the canopy of my own shadow and I am tethering with my fears and anxieties. Things look so bright and easy but the brightness of the world disappears with every thought and realization. Even my plight is tested at every step that falls in my path. I am so clueless and dangerously lost. I am so deep down confused with every single thing that I owe. Fears have started creeping in my mind and it is all that matters for, at the moment. And the moment is everlasting and never-ending. I can’t just stay calm and breathe long. It just doesn’t seem to happen with me. Sometimes I get over-excited and go aboard with my emotions and make stupid mistakes or silly acts which I repent afterwards. I look so much of a nerd and yet I feel too energized to be a nerd. I have absolutely no idea what phase of life I am going through. Maybe I am just over-expressing but I am not. Maybe I am just too worried about everything but I have nothing much to worry about. It can be case of acute understanding but how acute can acute be? Right now, I am feeling like a down-trodden girl writing a pre-suicide note. Omg, how can I be so insane about myself? 

I am gone… far away from myself…..

WITHERED....

Excepting you, 

                     I am all fred from miseries.....

underlining you,

                  I am all set to stand tall...

Believing you,

                I am lost...

forgeting you,

                 I am finding myself...