lost..

I have been wandering around a lot these days… wandering inside of me and getting lost all the while long… sometimes I am sitting still like the mountains yet withering with time and age…

I think I am still in search of that one thing that can make me what I suppose to be. I feel much of my nothingness in me and I feel nothing weird about this feeling…

Its UR B'DAY....

                                                                                    should i write you a b'day song?
should i sing you a b'day song?
maybe i should read out a b'day song...
perhaps i can whisper you a b'day song...

maybe it aint nice enough to do a b'day song...
perhaps i can bake a b'day cake...
or else i can light the b'day candles on the b'day cake...
i can switch of the lights and make you appear in darkness...
you can blow off those b'day candles...
and i can sing you a b'day song...
and float in the light of your face...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY HONEY BEE!!!

wouldn't i know?

I won’t know if you are still holding onto me…

You won’t even care to know if I care…

You run away from my words….

I don’t remember a sentence I have completed….

You scare me away from you…

At the slight rise in your voice…

You chose to go merry-making…

When I was deep drowned in your thoughts….

You hardly listened to my feelings…

I had felt the universe for you…

You wanted to go wild, I know…

I wanted you to safari with me….

All you dreamed was for a free ride with yourself…

And left me pondering what am I to dream….

THE TIME THAT SCATTERS ME....

I dunno if I am behaving with the situation. I tried my level best not to trip over any incident that may help me in describing me. But I failed in my attempt. I hate being such a snob but I cant help myself in my affairs. I hate the feeling of being lost in the crowd but that’s the least that I can oversee. Its been a month long of strive and struggle in processing my thoughts and my feelings. I don’t want to fall a prey to my own desires but I am so helpless that I cant even succumb to my own thinking. I wanna stay away from everybody’s life but I am so glues to the circle that I keep on falling back into it. I despise the Yankees who roam around without any fear and attachments. I do want to step out in the sun and shout at the sunlight. I wanna hate the moon but I am too less of light to even hear my own cry.

I am lost living in it…..

lost in time...

i feel lost...
coz i know i am somewhere...
where i know it as nowhere...
i dream of life that i imagined...
i imagine of a life that i dreamed...
everything looks strange..
though i am familiar with it...
i know i am lost...
coz i never wandered in this place all again...

Must I Wait?

Time crawls like the tortoise on the marathon...
I wait for the seconds to click by with a sigh...
the sands in the hourglass drop in particles...
the minute hang in the cloud before it ticks away...
i flap my eyelashes thrice in a second...
i take a look at the watch before looking at the clock...
i think i will kill the time before i know of it...
its too hard waiting and much harder waiting in vain...
can you please step out of that picture frame and
let the wait go in vain...
coz i am tired of waiting hours in your name...
and i am dying whispering your name to the wind...

HOPE IT WONT LAST LONG.... but da hope shud stay on 4EVA...

Today 08.07.2011. made me sink into my own tears; tears of anger, impatience, stress and on and on... I really dunno what the heck is going on around me. It appears to me as if I woke up to be worn out by people who like to drag on me. Its certainly not fair to tell me myself that I hate being a part of this whole attitude drama. I am literally tired of wearing a smiling face when all i get back in return is a frown. I rather cry and let my sadness flow out instead of holding onto the fear of being known as a lost girl.
I evolve around myself and I was quite certain about my own capabilities and worries but right now, I can no longer say the same thing. I am not sure if I really think I know myself coz every time I make an effort, I am proved wrong.
This day of the month, I cried for hours feeling under-imposed, under-estimated and vulnerable. I cant bear to see myself crying infront of anybody that i choose to hide myself behind the closed doors and cry as loud as i can. I cried till I fall asleep and I could hardly breathe in! Can i not feel so reckless and under-mined?
i wanna go home and cry in somebody's arms... i really want to! Can i ever get that break to do atleast something that I so wish to!
P.S. Nurture me in my arms and I wont say a damn thing... I am counting minutes to let the pain ease without counting the second that pierced my heart!