I smiled and lived on without shedding a tear in nobody's sake. I live on without the fear of wetting my cheeks. I still live in the hope of smiling even if I cried but sometimes my hopes are shattered by the thought of living the lie again... No, I never lied in the face of anybody but all I did was lie to myself even when i could stand the truth...
i was never lied to and i never lied to anybody but i was often lied by myself.... i cried for myself and i scream at my face... when i look in the mirror, i dont like the person staring back at me with blacken mascara and wet cheeks... i even dont like those very eyes that are pooled with tears and roll out those tears with the slightest flip of the eyelashes. I care less to witness the pain in those eyes when i can feel the fear of rolling those tears again...
I cry to myself to pain myself with your thoughts and facade. why you do this to me all the time? when i cry, i can see you smile in between my tears... or was that a smirk on your face?
Why I have boundless questions for you that you fear to answer? Why am I so fearless in asking that questions to myself all the time? Am i addicted to your lies? I am afraid I cant take NO as an answer to all those questions devoid of feel....

How can I ever stop those rolling  tears??? Dont let me live a Lie....

V fight and i End up fighting 4 myself...

its hard when i hear myself listening to your high-pitched voice. i dunno if i am just listening to my moans or telling you my groans.... every time i try to do something soothing for myself and for you too, you end up attacking me yet again....
you dont want to listen to the said words but i cant let go off the spoken words coz they keep on bouncing back in mu mind... maybe i am paranoid about the things that i do but i am adamant on pressing harder on the things you dont want to listen... it clicks me to say it louder for myself to hear so that i can be sure i said nothing unimportant to me...
i will perish soon in your eyes and i will be living in the horrors of my dream that i let you let me die...