“When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.”

CAN I DENY DAT?????????

I m shocked @ myself dat m sheddin da last drop of tears 4 a passion dat i witnessin thru my eyes... drop by drop, the drops of tear ran into a short stream. the pooled eyes vould no longer stand da fullness dat it felt af8r so long.. so i let it out....  yeah ya,,,, i cried 4 a woman with whom i was walkin along with, through this whole 9 hours... gosh, i was thr wen she was born thru her strugle and now joinin in her success. just a min back i ws thr 2 celebrate her 40th b'day!!!!! happy b;day..... it gives me a deep warmth of a heart wen i cry 4 her... tears of joy though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it doesnt sound apt 4 my dried eyes to gather such a pool but it happened and i m releived. m astonished @ da whimp n da sobs dat i made.....  i know i can laugh @ dis but m okie wid da humour....

so now m closin dis thick chapter with the fingers already running through the pages of Borne identity!!!!

M closing for now.....

SENTIMENTATION!

NOT ALL SCARS SHOW!
NOT ALL WOUNDS HEAL!
SOMETYMS U CAN'T OLWEZ C DA PAIN SOME1 FEELS!!!!!

ITS BETTER 2 FEEL DA PAIN DAN FEELING NOTHIN!

AF8R ALL DIS VILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's like.. dead lokes scattered on the parched skin....
a thousand beads of perspiraton beaded on thy brow...
sea of tears oceaned in the pool of the eyes...
and streams of those tears running makin it way through the trodden path....
A SMIRK on the face of the self that knows nothin of SMILE...
least the sorrow that murks in the dark,
i stand close to the light that illuminates nothin of my plight...
stil I choose to squat under the scorching sun...
maybe a ray of sunlight can dry up my dried tears...
its hard to choose the smooth side of life....
coz m accustomed to the odd world of living!!!!
behold my bleeding heart <3!!!
i hve more 2 yell than to telll...
its a graveyard deep buried with the dead...
resurrection is envitable: after all these years of turbulant sleep...
maybe a coma was just an excuse to awaken the burdened soul...
weightened with the sack of endured lies and absorbed pain...
Now, i make a wish.... wishin dat it can be heard....
LISTEN  TO MY TEARS!!!coz m afraid my smile can drive u insane,,,
u need not stare @ my ghastly look...
coz i hav cupped my face in my hands.......
to refrain you from looking out for meh!!!!!!!!!!

but stil.... REACHIN OUT .....

HUSTLING WAVES 4OM WITHIN....

y everythin so confusing????????????

down came the reson when there was no sunshine!!!!!!!!!
longing for the moon to light up my motivation....

prefering to be a claustrophobic,,, but  am blind in my own terms!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!

IMAGINE UR IMAGE....

 ............IF
           .............YOU
WOULD SEEK TO
..............FIND YOURSELF
LOOK NOT INTO
.......................THE MIRROR
FOR THERE IS BUT
...................A SHADOW THERE.....

A STRANGER................

INK AND WATER DONT MIX....

................ who ever said? INK N WATER DNT MIX................
............ got da nerve to yell out dat i falsify dat theory..........
........... i witness da smirk on da face of my diary.....
....... when ma tears tiptoped quitely on ma scribbled words....
...... 2 devour da clarity of da spoken word....
..............  DA PICTURESQUE WAS MURKY,.,,,
,,,,,,,,   but i adorned da fact dat .....
   thy both mix 2 create a color 2 yet another aspect of life.....

give it 2 my interest.....
...... i smiled a smile after framing da picture dat...
... developed on da canvasss of my time n space....

ENCLOSED IN MA TEARDROP ADDICTION.....

p.s. IT TEARS ME UP TO TEAR YOU DOWN!!!

LAPSE....

it was in mymind 2 blog a while.. but thn other things cropped out of my mind...
m left wid nothin relai 2 yell out!!!!!!!!!
so waitin pateintly 4 da tide 2 uprise....
till thn wont b bloggin....

TAKEN IN 4 GRANTED?????????
Y ?????? MEH//////

i wondered n m stil wondrin.....

NOT ALONE... COZ M NOT ON AN ISLAND......??????? ode 2 Mj.

Another day has gone, I'm still all alone

How could this be you're not here with me

You never said goodbye, someone tell me why

Did you have to go and leave my world so cold?

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone, for I am here with you

Though you're far away, I am here to stay

But you are not alone, for I am here with you

Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone, why, 'lone
Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry

Asking me to come and hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand then forever can begin

INT'L CHEF DAY CELEBRATION........

da nitemare.... hasn;t last long... when da daymare started approachin....
..... strolled in da kolej af8r dat heavy rising,,,,,
..... corssed da threshold of da kitchen... but took da u-turn af8r c-ing da mushrooms.....
...... waited patiently n da patience paid back wid an avenge....
..... i smelled of kitchen odour, wen i took da trouble of smellin maself....
..... kickstarted da 3 hour in kitchen wid da demo by chef .....
.... i was 2 put my hands on da roja prep. ....
..... peelin, washin n cuttin....... cucumber, mango, guava.......
...... filmed thm on da platter n baid syanonara,.....
...... oh ya! da cel. in da courtyard,..... wid rock muzic n cookin competition in ful swing...

...... all da black head people in white chef dresss,,,,,,

............. da real white............. perfect whitet white....

..... trotted 2 da lib. commented on da comment card.......

.....strolled down 4 lunch.... limo teak....ice...
...... all in waitin 4 da eng. clas @ 3 wen da kitchen door flunged opened @ 2 ....
.... all in dilemma, in or not in..... @ da last, ushered in....
..... picked up da task by fillin water 4 heatin....

..... scambled wid da mussels.... discardin da unwanted hair.....

..... wid da ice slippin thru my fingers... made my way 4 da bigger platter....
,.... catchin da sight of da blanched mussels......
..... da dormant hormones got activated.....
.... hmmm started out my display creatifness,,,,,,
,,,,,, chef had a luk n a nod but da nod swayed 2 da side coz v all knew it was not gonna last long...
.... despair @ my display!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..... had enuf of da gas n da chiller.... so crawled back 4 eng. ......
      oh! 2 find none 2 lend my ear along.....
..... waited down da lift 4 some tummy fillin.. back again in da lift.......
..................class over............. dats it....
/////// basicali... chef day over wid just da chef dress on....

p.s. whole day in chef dress 4 da world chef day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dats how ma clebration worked out!!!!!!

CHOCOLATE.... DARK N DEEP......

......CHOC R LOVELY.... DARK N DEEP....

DATS DA CRAPPY THING.....

HMMMM i just wonder y many ppl love rain????

i  hate 2 walk in da rain....

c'mon it leaves meh wid nothin but volumes of inmeasurable water...

i preferably dont like 2 walk in da rain coz i dont want my vision 2 get blurred...

thy r my vision, i hve 2 hve them...4 my sake!

contradictory, i dnt prefer walkin under an umbrella....

inevitably i get drenched...

wad da heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

m just not able 2 understand myself....

da onli tym i love rain.....hmmmmm

wen i hear da phrase dat does da talkin...

"I LOVE WALKIN IN DA RAIN COZ NOBODY KNOWS M CRYIN"

p.s. Get drenched in da rain wen u r alreadi floatin in ur tears!!!!!!!!!!!!

rE@ChiN OuT 4 MeH........evanescnece is in part....

Da murk of da day instils a sense of lonilness inside meh... i kno its not da real aspect of interpretation but i guess i can xplain a lot further 2 my grasp.....

all da while m in ma kolej 4 nothin... my onli 1 clas 4 da day was cancelled after some tym of waitin in vain... m not hapi coz i feel like i hve nothin more 2 do @ dis peak of tym... n so i m bloggin... just 2 kill da tym wid my words..... anticipating i can do justice 2 ma bullshit n cowardly sentences n extracts.....

As i strol out in2 da outside world thru da sqaure panelled window, i m stil lost beneath da cloud dat have ribboned my brightness... i feel no sunshine splashed on my earthy brow... i long 4 da l'll spark dat will lite up dis morbid moment... I feel life swayin away wid da breeze not 2 catch hold of da mighty wind... gentle yet soothin... a complete abstract 2 da animosity of life....

i remember of days when

 i longed 4 da stilness of da hour....

da persistence of da running tym....

da voluminous cord of da monday blues....

instinct dat favoured my mournin tales....

when i was da lone prisoner of own anguish.....
when i was held captive in ma own scribbled law....
when moment fathomed da true lies of da cherished past....
when i couldn't b some1 else just 4 da sake of being meh,.....
and here i am again.. in da face of da might...
 stilll reverin in da closeness of da evanescence of da days gone by....

if i am able 2 rejunivate maself back 2 da era of incommunicado eliote den yesterday is surely not an issue...
after dose heavy hours of light makeshift, i laid back on da couch... i felt da need of filling in my long lost diary... i hovered over my unwarranted dates, i saw da feel wid my own hands, dat da past is stil incomplete.. i was held back from approchin further. stil, to redeem da need of regain my quiverin writting, i jotted down some points,... dat i wel cherished over da past few days to few hours of infactuation..... suddenly i remembered of da first poem dat i wrote..... i had written it, i guess 4 da 2nd issue of a journal which later became da poem 4 my competition.. i gladly remember i also got da prize for it.. but i dnt seem to remember anythin of wat i wrote. my only hardcopy, my english lecturer took it form meh saying that it will b published in da kolej annual magazine. i left da kolej dat year, so i have no idea what happened 2 my lost poem..
the poem was titled "THE ULTIMATUM" If my convulations holds stil intact, thn  i m adamant dat in dat poem, i tried 2 decipher da senescence of lfy... da haitus dat lfy puts @ da tym of nocturnal living... da comparision bwtween a picturesque and a grosteque living....
i m tryin  my best 2 recover my faded memory dat i had filled in wid so much curiousity,..... i hope i can bring it alive though it may b just a simple effort of dat grand tym...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hmmm dis is not my swansong.... rather it is da courtesy of tym dat is allowing meh 2 configure wat is my own? caboodle of ideas and thoughts spranging out of da untrodden convulations, stil i transfigure lfy in da face of tym... my eng. lecturer was best 2 advise meh on da subject of expectations!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN XPECTAIONS R HIGH, REALITY FALL SHORT!!!!!!!!!!!!  dats da postscript of da hour.... esp, after hearin out my damn result.....  i accept it wid humility coz i  hve expected it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so here i hold back my caboodle of flyin freaks.....
adaios..... ..

p.s. " u die every second of ur lfy 2 b reborn in da next second"

GALA Dinner..... all in gaga 4 da next round....

GALA Dinner..... all in gaga 4 da next round....

sommelier! how wil u describe dat term in you own words??????????? dis question infalted meh when i was hearin it 4 da 5th tym dat evening....
it was my first tym approcah 2 a sommelier thingi competition just 2 witness how justifyin is dat word 2 da wine world???????? i guess, after my participation in da audience, my knowledge was just a dip in da ocean. da wine is more deeper dan da sea... hehehe...
I would hve minded if i was born wid da sniff of a dog.. gosh! da wine identification.. luks like da job of a trainee sniffer.... it was preti cool on esther part 2 mimick dat.... esp da french vocubulari....
moral of da story: wine is not just wine... it is more deeper dan da color n aroma n neva 2 4get da intoxication!
post competition, we all ran in da direction of KFC.... fast n not furious... just gr8 4 da churnin tummies... it was da hunger dat was fastin da fingers n da Dig, systm. i was like, wil my oesophagus open da valve 4 da incomin food dat was 2 b devoured in anoder 1 n half hour??????????? hve 2 reconsider.....
Hilton hotel was kool 2 hang around.. particularli 4 our own team of parp! i was invitin myself 4 da gala dinner on da risk of my own monthly duet.... so, i had 2 make dat invitation up 2 da level....
da pre_dinner.. champagne was a toast 2 get in2 da grand ballroom. Wid our some seniors n sir P.D. wid us, it was secure n it was goin  2 b a flashrock!!!!!!!!!!!
oh! da dinner was fantabulous.... da wine alignment  n arrangement in accordance wid da fine dining... was just superb... i had a gr8 tym.. dat all it counts....
Da bread was bottomless... hehehe/// comment 4om my neighbour diner....
da vite wine was all down... da red wine.. so so okie.... .
take.. take pic,, was one phrase my ear was accustomed 2 .. plus... reddy red faces....
it was a learnin in experince n a touch 2 c how bodies works n eats,,,, n dines.. in da wine way!!!!!!!!!!
congratulation 2 da winner's . taylor's alumuni made it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm... da past dat was just yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mid aututmn festival... moon cake festival....
the story of da rabbit in da moon..... da chinese version led meh 2 open up 2 da celebration of da moon cake festival... dat prety romantic( leave out ur thinkin cap).....
it was a completely new day,,, a full moon....  i woke up wid da light creepin in2 my room throu da blinded curtains.... oh! dis saturday was not goin 2 b borin any longer....
we, as a group of four... vicky, sally, d'chn n myself hogged along da road 2 sunway 2 b 2geder on dis day! 2 give company 2 vicky... on her moon cake festival... we proclaimed our entry in2 da Red box.. hehe much 2 da amusement n 2 da joy of being frds... da karoke was fun.. though i lest managed 2 sing some hindi songs... da lunch oder made da afternoon a bit xpensive but all worth spend... almost 4 hours, we beated 2 da tracks of chinese songs, english n 1 or 2 hindi... it was fun...
da evenin came as a greater bundle of joy,,,, all was well wid da moon.. i guess,.... dee drove 2 da kolej 2 pick us up.. n all da way 2 her cozy mansion... da perfect word 2 describe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh! 4 da first tym in my lfy i witness myself being a child again in da face of adulthood.. hehe... though i didn;t know wat was it all abt... until dat day, late.... i lighted up da lantern.. thy luked preti cool!!!!!!!!! quite a few went in flames... had  nice dinner,,,, loads of starin moons @ da full moon.... hogged along da paved parchment... gleeful faces of joys  n laughter.. resonatin in da moonlit reserve.... da filmstars in their own paparazzi style... da click of da camera waved da way 2 da flash of da lens dat captured da stars @ their own risk of invitin paparazzi.... heheh.. (flyrazzi was just another company 4 us...it a well-2-remember event)
oh! it was yet tym 4 anoder candle 2 b blown away..... my B;day! doesn't dat sound nice???????? well it did a surprise 4 meh... but it was a sweet n an unknown surprise,,, hehehe....(by da way, surprise r meant 2 b unknown)
well... da day ended wid laugher dat stil rings in my ears....
da moon cake dat stil fills my flavour....
da moment dat will last lfy long....
da love dat will reverbrates in every chapter of livin....

thnx dee.. 4 da nice moment... n everybody... 4 everythin....

b'day VICH.... wid pomp....

HAAPY B'DAY... sweety.......
i kno its bit harsh on my part not 2 kno ur b'day.... but i wish u all da lfy bestest cheers n freakin moments...
i also gotta tel u dat u share ur day wid a gr8 n noble person... i kno u dnt evn kno him... Mahatma gandhi,,, lemme tell u dis,,, he is man, key role player behind da freedom struggle and finalli da freedom of free India!!!
 hehehe.. dis sounds crap nah! tellin u of a man whose history v onli  redeem./.... but dats wats make 2nd oct. special.... double joy.... 
Da candled choco cake was da reflection of ur sweetness and cutness....
hope you have a awesome day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cheers 2 u,,, n 2 ur lfy...
once again...wid pomp n bells... hapi b'day....
luv u....

ALL 4 A DETENTION IN LUV.....

"No longer mourn for me when i am dead
Then you shal hear the truly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hands that writ it; for I Love you
That I in your sweetest thoughts would be forgot
If thinking of me then should you make woe
O, If I say, look upon this verse
When I compounded with clay
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse
But let you love even with my life decay"

"lest the world should look in your moan;
And mock you with me after I am gone"

insomniac meh????????? trust meh,,,,

now dis sounds reali weird.... coz dis neva happened 2 meh until 2day.....
M a freaked out horizotal meditator.... when it comes 2 sleepin, all i need is n xcuse to lie down n get deep drowned in dat sweet trance...
can u imagine dat.... i had , not even 40 winks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unlike any other day of my normal goodnite tym, the seconds of the clock went on with the eyes stil open wide. 12am or 1 am is my perfect bed time...  before closin my eyes, i pounce on my cel phone, play 9 or 10  round of sudoku, listening to the music. den only the head touches da pillow and i get  deep drowned...
hmmm sth not so happenin... it was alreadi 4am, but my eyes was still wide open wid da brown pupil focussed high... i tried to get to sleep by voluming high da music, i closed my eyes.... but da neither was respondin..
i was tried of lyin down late. so i ushered 2 da living room, switch on da T.V. There was nothing interstin to watch also. hmm wats up next? I remembered the DVD I had brought along the previous day. hooray! finally something dat can keep meh occupied. as so 2 make sure, dee wnt be woken up by da TV niose, I humbly inserted my head phone.. OMG! dis was going on great. Holiday is a fun movie, after all... i barely looked @ da tym. i guess it was around 5:30am, coz the prayers 4om da mosque was soundin loud enuf,evn wen my ear was clogged wid da headphone. when I finally switched off the TV it was alreadi 6:30am. gosh! i had ma class @ 8am,. wat if I felt miserably sleepy in da class? dat wont b 2 gud 4 meh!!!!!!!!hope not.
laid on da bed again, stil very much awake. so, i dropped da idea of gettin a short nap. showered myself and then began gettin ready 4 da tirin day!!!!!!!!!!!!
classes were fine... damn borin but okie...... m used 2 dat by now.. i guess,.... since nothin has been much interstin late long...
so m not @ all feelin sleepy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
m i sufferin 4om insomnia?????????????????????? dats weird,,,,,,

DA PERFECT VOYAGE OF THIRST....

BREEZIN THE OOZE OUT.....

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say


The husky voice of daughtry echoing in my ear plug, I realize, it's really not at all a surprise that I won’t be here tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! The melody of no surprise was still chording my ear, when I was doing the talking with daughter of god. When you are deep drowned in a book, the eyes do all the pain staking effort. Lying back in the back seat of the car, talking to my eyes and listening to the songs of C.D. MC...... And in every break of the leafing over, I continued taking a glance of the landscape I was entering into. Everything seemed to move in perfect unison with each other. I was determined to let seth reach his destined zoe when the car took a full turn and dropped the book from my hand. The next minute, I go to the book but the boulevard took over my eyes to do the widening. It held rows of difference.... rubber in neighbor with durian sharing the boundary with cotton... and magnificently the drinking tree stooping out its branches for a sip in the pond. nature was perfectly aligned in par with beauty... all I needed at that moment was to become a Japanese again...at least that’s the perfect version of a tourist....
.I share my part of the daylight with the sea... the ushering waves of the mighty sea. All I could see was the endless stretched blue blanket on the earth. Craved at the farthest point; a perfect horizon for the orange setting sun. The lashes of the waves beating against the smooth rocks sent a splash of sea all over me. I wished I could be there for a long time… waving at the great ships that were released from the harbor or the yachts hooked onto the marina. The little mouse island was a peculiar looking island with overgrown mosses and multiple small trees. I can enjoy the view from the balcony of the condo where I was put up that night.

The cool breeze from the sea sent a quiver of thrill in you. I could have had a greater view if not for the tall building that blocked the view in the middle…. Wish I can do something about it…
Every rising tide devours the might of the shore....is this truth a necessity or the fall before the dawn??????
i listen to the wind of change and i hear neither the cry of the past nor the sobs of the present.... future lies miles away, within my very present...
I cared to lend my trifile ears to the submerging faith of the heart that weeped to the  resentment of the of the days gone by... I mystified my trust with the arousing expectancy of the void.... those were the aroused tide, but with every new wave, the sea unfolds a dynamic truth....
so i devour in the might of the vast sea to feel myslef
" A DIP IN THE SEA"....
but DROP BY DROP IS THE WATER POT FILLED.....
The Sea is not an option, it is adhered to it,,,,

A DOSE OF CLAUSTRAPHOBIA... makes u realise the worth,,,,

ALL DA VILE.... TRESSIN THRU PENANG....

Hmmm... the mirroring clear lake that

enchanted the trees to stoop down for a drink....

the avenue of drinking trees made the ride more intimadated to nature...

The fisrt dawn, that i witness after ages of sleep.....

i had tried to sneak out in the night but it was

 whole damn filled with people. no space for parking also.

but the morn added magic to the rolling wheels...

the view was great and above all the first rays of sunlight touched my brow...

trailing the whoel day filled with warmth and love....

MARISH NITE MARE//////

OH!!!!... its freakin meh out.... da high xplosion of heat in da head... gosh.... have 2 reconsider, whether m 4 da buks or da buks r 4 meh??????????????
xam tym.... is my coma stage... nothin goes in the head n nothin comes out on da paper.......
can i change da white sheet 4 a black sheet????????? after all its just a shit.... wats da big deal????????
CULD went okie,,,, xpect 4 some mpty slots vich i filled wid my own interpretation.....
BUSINESS MATHS,,,,,,, i ll manipualte.... 2 da xtent dat i dnt recognize da new outluk.....
THINKING SKILLS......gosh my thinking skils is just nil... c'mon m not meant 4 thinkin... so whr wil da skils come 4om?????????? sbd gimmme a thinkin tip.......................
FOOD SCIENCE AND SANITATION....okie... now sth i can do about it.... coz it's al abt food...af8r alll...but y da lecturer olwez give da toughest heck 2 it.... she is just like.. da encyclopedia... ranging her hygiene 4om da PM 2 da cornest corner of da street... u kno... da earth is neva meant 2 b clean... so wat is dat  fuss all abt????????????
ACCOUNTS................... it just kills my pills n bills... apartin 4om killin my brainless brain..........
profit n loss.. all centered around da capital of tym n mega bugs/////////////// hope i can handle........... my fingers r not meant 4 countin dose lumsome sums..///// thy r 2 feeble 4 dat...
but luckily i can do some magic wid acc.///
dis nitemare ll end by friday......................
DAT GIVES MY SATISFACTION.... UNTIL I ENCOUNTER DA MARKS SHEET.....

CAN ANYBUDY GIMME A TITE KNOCK ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOLACE IN MY OWN FEAR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACES OF AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deep buried eyes…
Hollowed with age n adventure…
Streams of tears have curved in2 pool of reminiscence…
The edges of fear have narrowed the transcend of time…
The claustrophobic socket has been over looped by the curtains of eye lid…
Last it a while long, the anxiousness of time has never left the eyes…
Eyebrows still rise at the foot step of an intruder…
But the lines of curiosity stretch far beyond the wide absconding turf.
Sliding down the downy stairs, beckon for the turbulence…
With age, the passage of air has blocked to the winds of fury…
Calm the impending cyclone of fear, the breeze can coil out the violence…
Mustn’t you rush at the cry of the flagging voice…?
Rather trail the bleating sobs, lest it lead you to the den of cries……
Hear out for the last cry of the slumbering soul….
I rest here to witness the flawing voice of a man, grief stricken…
One moment …… more…
Give a glance to the tethering strands of WHITE….
Adorning the bivalve of the vocals, bust out the fail whiskers
Stranding the un- kneaded locks of era………
Pause your thought on the moment of reflection…
Clear as the crystal in the light of reality….
Follow the story of the wrinkled groove…
Every furrow has a narration to be made…
Lend your ears to the stiffened soul….
You can hear a feeble cry; Magnifying amplitude….

Give a moment chase to the AGE…..
That IS drowning with age….

C DA CLARITY OF UR FACE... CUPPED IN UR OWN HANDS!!!

IS DIS TELLIN U 2 TURN UR FACE AGAINST DA WORLD???????????
feel da plight of ur feelin wen u think like dat... m sensible enuf 2 let u kno ...dats no emo @ all... clear as crystal...
ur face cupped in ur own hands... dat tells how much u strength u hve regained 2 embrace ur oddity!!!!!!!!!
m a familiar face 2 my own hands...  i feel closer 3 my flesh n skin wen i distress out my tears on2 da strong plams...
                 IT'S ANODER WAY OF LETTIN U KNO URSELF BETTER!!!!!

Poem by an African.... Awesome..
Nominated 2005... for the best poem...

When I born, I BLACK,
When I gow up, I BLACK,
When I go in sun, I BLACK,
When I scared, I BLACK,
When I sick, I BLACK,
When I die, I STILL BLACK........

And, You WHITE FELLA,
When you Born, you PINK,
When you grow up, you WHITE,
When you go out in sun, you RED,
When you cold, you BLUE,
When you scared, you YELLOW,
When you sick, you GREEN,
When you die, you GRAY......

AND YOU CALLING ME COLORED???????????

UNDER DAT ROUND DOME....

MAGNIFY DA PACE OF UR HEART BEAT WID UR UNBEATEN STEPS!

DROPS OF TEARS RAIN 4OM DA BRIM OF DA UMBRELLA...

U WALK ALONE IN DA NOWHERE DIRECTION...

MUDDY WID DA THOUGHTS OF UR TEARS.....

TAKE TYM 2 PONDER OVER DA VEINS OF DA TEARS..

UNDER DAT SHELTERING DOME...

BENEATH DOSE IRON VEINS...

U CAN KEEP URSELF DRY 4OM DA RAININ BLEEDS..

JUST HAVE DA HEART TO OPEN UP DA THOUSANDS HEART

DAT FLOWS DOWN 4OM UR HEART!!!!!!!!!

ALL WEL WID DA DRIPPIN RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAT SHAKESPHERE MUST HVE NARRATED….

TYMS HE WAS STIL ALIVE…

DELIVER IT 4OM TASHY…………..

4om da initiation 2 da enunciation…

Hmmmmmm…….

High 4 da lfy dat flew miles above da ground…

onli 2 realise da 9th cloud was just beneath their ground…

Cradled in da arms of love n anger…

Sad yet contended, wild yet subtle…

Make it a point 2 pin point da biggest mistake,

M short 4 my finger…

Take da lite 2 think of da bigger victory…

Ma finger's, diminutive…

I think of da tym I stood by da giggling river…

All was stil wid da flowin wind…

Da River let its cry, cry louder…

Da sand ushered past my back…

Beneath my feet, da ants sheltered 4 homes…

Da dark cloud arose its anger, high…

Da sky showered its tears all over meh…
Da river pitched its cry a bit more dripping…
So swiftly da river took its course;
welcomin more drop of tears…
da wind calmed down wid da waverin drizzle…
all in da midst of procession,
I stood still wid….
da wind dat whispered 2 meh da might of its storm..
da river dat changed its swift…

da cloud dat darkened my sight…

da sky dat sodden my tears…

I wait 4 da tym 2 lift meh by…………

I sit still n I m cradled in my own arms…
Warm 4 da heart dat was cold from solitude…

Cosy 4 da cold dat enveloped my dammed form…

I shiver a bit n I fall back in da bed of da earth…

Hard yet soft 4 da stiffened body!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THOSE MOMENTS WILL BE LOST IN TIME

AS THE TEARS IN THE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

sth abt da luk in my lfy...........

i hve walked da lane of becomin a dame..

i neva had da map of livin 2 live by it..

i just strol by n things land in their own chord

vich may b appealin or da odervise side of da story,,,

m olwez @ da heart of myself..

so i drown myself in da ocean of my thoughts

n l8r regret placin myself beneath da bottomed layers of possible suffcation..

m a bit ideolomatic but m f9 @ dat///

coz every cross in lfy is nothin but da cross @ ur own frowns

i stil whisper 2 da deaf n da dumb

i silently luk thru da eyes of da blind

m not hapy coz i miz da innocent laughter of joy........

n m stil happy coz i haven't encounterd myself wid da saddest of all

I COMPLAINED OF NOT HAVIN SHOES,

UNTIL I SAW A MAN WIDOUT FEET....

LFY TEACHES IN ITSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am only one,

But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do
The something that I can do.


And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years.
Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter.
 I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book.
 If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for.
I love my past.
 I love my present.
 I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and
 I'm not sad because I have it no longer.


Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
and things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art; to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Don't strew me with roses after I'm dead.
When Death claims the light of my brow,
No flowers of life will cheer me: instead
You may give me my roses now

You need someone loyal!

People have let you down since forever and you

have always been left by yourself.

Your life spark is now barely flickering and there is a

big feeling of emptiness and hopelessness.

You don't know what to do anymore in your

life and everything has a sense of

meaningless to it.

Though you're not only sad,

 you also carry hate and many grudges on people.

You have a hard time letting people in,

but with your history you don't even

desire that so much anymore.

As if you were born into a world of tears,

you look at the darker things in life.

Drawn to things like the occult and mysteries,

 you spend your time daydreaming.

You are lonely on the inside.

You feel you have no one.

You are quiet on the outside

 but crying on the inside.

I WAS MORE DAN AMAZED 2 KNO DAT THY DWELL IN HERE......

I NARROWED DOWN DA CURVE IN2 DA LOOP!

DA WATER DOES DA SPEEDING!!!!!! MY LAST TRIP ...

I REMEMBER WELL.... ATISA MONASTERY N VILLAGE....

I HAD HEARD IT 4 DA 1ST TYM N BEEN THR 2 GET NAUSATED WID DA HIGH ALTITUDE!

m a born child of yesterday!!!!!!!!

 dats y wat 2day has 2 offer meh, i can;t just take 2 da interest of my living...

wen dis very 2day becomes yeasterday's 2moro,

i cherish it 2 da core dat 2day feels short @ living!!!!!!!!

living in da present is sth i had n have 2 learn a lot abt...

 often i rest in da konfusion of wat'z next???????

bt deep within i kno dat m anticipatin every 2moro as my gud day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 finger's olwez crossed 4 dat optiomismtic emo!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, less dan far,

 grasses r not green on da other side of da fence!!!!!!!!!

 i take dis wid da humility of my own good self 2 get it alarmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but hope neva dies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meh in ma empty words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i m a soul residing in da body of someone called meh!!!!!!

live under the skin of borne love and arosed anger...

m a baby crawled under the skin of flesh...

m a drop contained in the pool of the universe...

m nothing but a soul migrating from one body 2 another..

m but a worthless being of substance...

i cry wen i m not supposed 2...

i smile wen i m weary of haplessness...

n i laugh a hearty when i feel i wil b good at dat point of time...

eyebrows ll surely raise...

but i kno m deep drown in da pool of their eyes....

such is a tale i tale 2 many of da few....

i m but myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

The sea has no songs;
the wind does not remember you;
the moon does not understand anything.

you fear and your aversion too
are perfectly fine.
if you cry or you don't, doesn't matter.
just leave it-we are at home already.

white smokes in the fields.
In the bundled wreckageglow and clamour united.
Our sacrifice has lured fearout of its ambush.
Everything resounds
like the space inside the swinging bell.!

SOMMILIER- 3 COURSE MENU,,

WINES....

                                            2006 domained schlumberger, riesling, alsace

                                            2003 chateau pitray,cotes de castillon

                                          2007 peter lehmann, shiraz, barossa valley, australia

                                                 

                                          ENTREE-

                                    roasted lobster medallions on saffron broth,

                                                       wilted babay spinach

                                        APPETIZER....
                                   pan-seared sesame crusted ahi tuna....
                         

                                         MAIN COURSE.....

                               slow cooked tenderloin beef, creamy salsify, foie gras sauce

DESSERT.....

ginger crystallized panna-cotta,

pear william almond cake, pineapple caviar

CHOCOLATES...