A
new year of confrontation and confirmation, I am still searching for
the perfect compromise. I stepped into the New Year with lots of
aspirations and wishes but I feel like I am falling away from it. I am
completely lost in my own world, which I have created. I am sheltering
myself in the canopy of my own shadow and I am tethering with my fears
and anxieties. Things look so bright and easy but the brightness of the
world disappears with every thought and realization. Even my plight is
tested at every step that falls in my path. I am so clueless and
dangerously lost. I am so deep down confused with every single thing
that I owe. Fears have started creeping in my mind and it is all that
matters for, at the moment. And the moment is everlasting and
never-ending. I can’t just stay calm and breathe long. It just doesn’t
seem to happen with me. Sometimes I get over-excited and go aboard with
my emotions and make stupid mistakes or silly acts which I repent
afterwards. I look so much of a nerd and yet I feel too energized to be a
nerd. I have absolutely no idea what phase of life I am going through.
Maybe I am just over-expressing but I am not. Maybe I am just too
worried about everything but I have nothing much to worry about. It can
be case of acute understanding but how acute can acute be? Right now, I
am feeling like a down-trodden girl writing a pre-suicide note. Omg, how
can I be so insane about myself?
I am gone… far away from myself…..
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