NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.... admit it.... u r not alone..

It’s hard to say good bye… hard! Nah, infact it’s not viable to bade goodbye.

I show no keen to know the day you floated away... but I detest the day today…

How happily I jumped on your wall to wish you the most beautiful day of your life. I truly meant to be the first to wish you. I looked further down to check any first wishes but good lord, all the wishes told a different tale. Dammit, it was your BIRTHDAY! For lord’s sake!!! The messages lying down there pierced my eyes when I read it. It should have been something like… HAPPY BIRTHDAY instead of DEEP CONDOLENCES… it must be some kind of joke… but such ghastly joke...Nah, did I really read your name or was it another person with your name.  No, it says the body will arrive in our home… does that mean it is really you???????  I can’t fathom the words…I think I am fooled….oh gosh,,, it was your good damn birthday…. How can anybody just change the day????????
It narrates the story of the incident and it wrecks my heart to imagine the agony you have endured at THE critical moment of your life. It was a matter of your life and death, for lord’s sake. How can they not see it?????????? Fools are they, who blinded their conscience and caged you away from us. Can they not, look upon the path where they are heading? Though I understand the impermanency of life, but then, why must you be the victim among all?
I scrolled down to see that you have left me a message on the 1st of july. Yeah! Now I well remember it. You talked about your beautiful days with the snow and that you are back to work. You were telling me to take care of myself. I wrote you back at that instant but now I am not sure whether you read it or not?
How were you so sure of your departure? Coz you never wrote to me in one whole year but informed me of your presence two days before you shunned down.

I am still living in obscurity. Can there be no news????????  You have isolated me in deep fear…

Good young lad you were!!!! Responsible, caring and a lovely brother…  I can hardly trace the lines where we had each other’s company coz you have erased all possibilities of revival. But you live in our hearts…. And you are still the big young brother, I ever had!!!

I grief in your absence for the love that will never float again, for the lovely family that you have left behind and for the world, who lost you!!!!!

Hundreds and thousands of words can be written below your epitome but it seems futile coz you won’t care to read it. The care is less cared, yet alone, when you are missing from the crowd.


P.S. I MIZ U…HOW Can u justify your act of departure by just leaving a frail note of Take CARE….

THE LONELY link.... chained ...

 YOU ARE YET ANOTHER BELIEVER!!!

HELD ONTO THE FAITH OF LONESOME...

SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT...

EVEN THE SILENT SEA DOES THE WHISPER LOUD...

PAINT THE GLO0MY CANVAS....

EVERYTHING IS STILL IN THE WAIT OF THE HOUR.... 

new media..... N MISHAP....

NEW MEDIA TOMORROW


People’s obsession for tomorrow can be well defined through the usage of good-night implying that a new dawn will embrace them once they wake up from the sleep. How much of the good-nights are wished face to face? Let’s not take into consideration the friends and relatives staying miles away. Even the people staying in the same house text one another or have the internal line to say good night instead of wishing personally. This is one scenario where the new media comes into play. If this is a simple case of media today, then it is definitely a question to be pondered over by everyone, how will the new media look like?

From the time immemorial, communication has always been an integral part of survival. All forms of life speak its own language. Dogs bark, cat’s meow, donkeys braw, snake hiss and so on; human beings are therefore not an exception. Be it being the language spoken through signs, symbols, pictures/drawings, communication has influenced the entire civilization. With evolution in time, the way we mediate has changed its course and dialogue but still we do the talking. Technology has revolutionized the communication theory. Not even a single thing of the history has been spared by technology. We all can talk about the benefits and convenience of technology but very few can analyze the world into which we are being directed. At this stance of paced living, the media that will be adopted by people in the new tomorrow comes into the picture.

The interactive media will be as much a threat to newspapers as to television stations. While the basics of newspaper and magazine publishing have changed little, television has moved from black and white to color, from a single delivery system to multiple systems, and from inactive to increasingly interactive systems. Radio and newspapers have survived, although perhaps less profitably than the television. Television has turned the clock of the hour. Mobile and real news are more exciting than the written and pictured news and so the newspapers lose to TV. Radio has lost its sensibility long ago when the image of the news reader and singers sang song personally on the TV screen. Now we are accepting the raging influence of satellites and optic fibers.

Miniaturization and durability will be the new tomorrow. In the process of minimizing, the society will be bundled up in the wires. A wired world will succeed the modern world. A look around ourselves, we will find ourselves half knitted in colorful wires in the name of close communication. Major components of this group include cellular telephones, facsimile machines, and electronic mail systems. The so- called wired grid is in place. Not only are the computers talking to computers, but humans are communicating with computers and one another through an interconnected network of telephone, electronic mail and cable television systems. Information flowing through that network, moreover, is readily entered in spoken and written as well as keyed form, and the system will be able to respond to inquiries in any of those formats. The fate of this communication in the mere tomorrow will be translated as: not only the humans will be talking and listening to the computer; they will also be arguing and negotiating with it. Scores of Beautiful faces will be supplanted by a single screen and long wires. This holds true for the people of the whole world irrespective of age, color or creed.

Humans desire to communicate with every other creature will be fulfilled with the introduction of robotic animals. Robots add up to the new communicator of the tomorrow’s world. Though it may serve as a helper, but they will be the ones who listen to our words and our orders. It is strange yet appealing that the communication tomorrow will be between the pet animals and the master in a language made known to both. It will be no longer a fantasy for the children to ponder why dogs bark?

Demographically, by lifestyle, and in terms of need and desire for information, audiences are continually changing. Variables at work in each of these categories directly or indirectly influence the productivity of the communication process. As such, they demand continuing attention of every communicator in their own way. Audiences that communicators seek to influence today bear little resemblance to those of yesterday. As such, differences of similar or greater magnitude will also develop between today's audiences and tomorrow's. We can only visualize the coming tomorrow but we cannot think of communicating with the new tomorrow.

It will be new as it is not the present! It is the new tomorrow!

U R REMEMBERED MORE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I felt cold and i huddled in your warmth. you stroked my long black hair and whispered, Baby! i wont let you freeze....
 it is the moment that i clanged on forever.
you may not have talked the talk but definitely walked the walk on my path. 
Your endless strength helps me to keep on going though i frail and fall at times
 but i never fail to look into your eyes and say: i am proud for you...and you can keep the stare even i collapse to hold it.
coz i know you will strive in my effort.
you are the one inspiration that rekindles my whole aspiration.
i remember you in times of laughter and joy wishing you were with me....
you are omniscient in my sorrows and pain, soothing the broken tears to flow the pain away...
you light up my world when i have grown dark and grouchy...
i care for you.... coz you cared for me... my mama n daddy both resides in you...
it maybe a mimic if i say i can hear your pain... but the fact is, i never cared to hear your pain coz you never spoke about it.
why has your life destined to be so roughened to smoothed my living....
when you draw me close in your arms... i can hear you breathing,...
a deep breath that takes my breath away....
you kiss away my every pain... its unfathomable how you can cry so deep for me...
little do i understand my staggering steps... when i hear your firm footsteps...
you sheltered my life... and i owe it all to you...
i may have never uttered a word before you..
 but daddy
you mean the world to me...

P.S. ...old as i am, i still remember my daddy everytime..

IMPRESSION.... in ur face...

IT IMPRESSED THE EXPRESSION....

AND IT EXPRESSED THE IMPRESSION....

SO IT EXPRESSED TO IMPRESSS....

STRAIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!

WISH..... I can time back the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sighhhhhh

I badly need to rewrite my exam papers again. I have never felt so bad about my papers before. Partly because I wrote it so badly, as bad as the papers that was so white and ghastly. I remembered I thanked lord for the familiar questions but I forgot to ask him for a little more memory to answer those questions. So, likely, I ran out of my so called common sense. It taught me the most common lesson that took years to embed in my head- COMMON SENSE IS NOT SO COMMON!

1st day of my final exam….

9am-11am: Business English... gosh, I was so damn nervous when I headed towards the door to be seated. But as always English is like the slipping sand… so smooth and yet so stagnant… I wish every exam was English…. I had to write 1 cover letter, one letter of complaint, 2 documents and few active& passive sentences….

12pm- 2pm: Basic French 1… lol, I was anticipating the toughest of my time but luckily I think I managed to seep through it. As it was very basic, all the grammar was included and also I had to describe a picture which was as bad as… anything you can think of. Yeah, I even had to write something about me in French in not less than 50 words but I knew about it beforehand… so I wrote…

Salut! Je m’appelle Tashi. Je habite a’ Selangor en Malaisie. Je suis étudiante de la fac Taylor. Mes parents s’appellent tashi sandup et tashi dolma. Mon père’ est gentilé et sympa. Il a 50 ans. Il est chef de famille. Ma mère’ est belle est jolie. J’ai deux faires. Ils s’appellent Otzer et Chakdor. Ils sont étudient aussi en Inde. Moi, indienne et j’habite aves mes famille. J’aime beaucoup la musiqué, la lecture et la danse. Je parle anglais, ‘indienne et français. Je n’ai pas étudient.

A’ bientôt.....

3pm- 5pm : Food science and sanitation 2... the paper came out as expected. It was fairly easy despite my bad feeling. It’s all about HACCP- hazard analysis and critical control point. I think by now, I have developed a strong detest against HACCP. Who cares about sanitation if not for the health commission… (gosh it killed me to sit in the class so like I do, I always sneak onto novels…. Great attention… )

2nd day of my exam….

9-11am: principles of economics… gosh I hated to study economics but trust me, the paper was exactly the same the lecturer displayed as a sample. Gosh, if only I had paid a heed to him at that moment. But no regrets… coz I am not that unhappy with how it went.

12-2pm: Customer relation and sales…. Here comes the whale of the sea. Dammit, I am feeling so bad that my paper looked like a piece of abandoned shit. Even though I knew all the answers somehow I couldn’t relate my answers to the questions. Miss Suzanne gave us the tips beforehand. She even told us about the case study on the recent Thailand riots but I expected it to like the one which showed as the sample. Damn, it was so lot different. She gave only figures in the case study and expects us to relate personal equation to it. Oh lord! How can I possibly relate good grooming to dropping sales figure? Either I was mad enough not to grasp anything or it was beyond my understanding capacity. I am sunken in deep shit now. There goes my mood and my motivation to write anything further. …I hate to think about it... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH

3PM-5PM: Elements of Budgeting and cost accounting… the more glam and great the subject sounds the uglier and degrading it is. I do not mean to sound so bad but I can’t help it. Though the paper was pretty ok, I failed to deliver it as prettily as it looked. I left void spaces in the first section and again in the calculation section. I knew the theory and the method but I dunno how I missed out one simple step that cost me my entire marks. I didn’t realize my mistake even after submitting my paper. it was only when my friend asked me about it after one hour of the exam and then, my memory reversed as a shock to myself. I haven’t felt so bad before. I lost my entire mood to party and have fun so I crawled into my bed at 6pm and slept till 5am. Gosh it’s nearly 12 hours round the clock.

I was obliged to wake up because of the commis service I have to render at 7:30am coz it was COMPULSORY. The basic idea behind it is to help the seniors in their final exam and also see for ourselves how the exams are being conducted. It looks pretty scary with 5 external examiners and 5-6 internal examiners. The restaurant was floating with examiners. I was restricted to the Bar service. It was simple- keep the bar clean and make coffee/ tea when requested. I made myself few cups of coffee. So I had my day…

But the day was not yet over… hehe coz I had to rush to the stewarding area to help with the cutleries and crockery’s. Oh my Gosh, I worked like a donkey…. My lecturer told me the same thing. At least it was noticed. I am glad. My commis work finished by 2pm. And so I am back with a dizzy head and drained energy.

The exam week was stressful but I never missed to watch at least one football match or watch a movie. Guess that infidelity paid me back in the form of blankness…

P.S. I wish I can rewind everything that I winded wrongly….

IMPRESSION.... express to impress....

The anticipation with the drops of perspiration beaded on thy brow lasted long enough to cool down the heat that radiated hot. It has been weeks of running in between the people and the papers that a sudden run along the aisle seem like an empty void. Thanks to the faces that supplanted the titles that finally I have heaved out my long and deep sigh of relief. 10th of June 2010 wouldn’t have made a deep IMPRESSION on my life if not for my short life as the vice-president of the forum.
Well, all the credit goes to Derrick who voted for me to run for the President seat. That came as a shocking surprise as I never thought anybody would see the president in me. I prayed for the wrong toss. Well, I was saved with one less vote than my President. So that’s how I was chosen to be the V.P. you got to do one thing in your life so I took it.  I judged fair when I chaired the first meeting followed by the second meeting that was really productive. The final meeting was all about getting the jobs done and settling the final decorum for the forum.  And so the forum was all set to get audience. 
IMPRESSION- express to impress… was all about your first impression!!! Guess, it is the key to all locks. Our speakers for the event were on fairly judgmental backgrounds.
A gentleman- Mr Murphy Lee (life planner) Great eastern insurance.--- Detailing from the first eye contact till the last firm handshake…
Ms. Suzanne Lee (lecturer, Sales and marketing), Taylors College…exclusively about the body language that reads out your entire personality…
Ms. Eva Koh (Hair stylist) Snips hair dressing saloon… the hair that suits the eye and the character you are wearing on yourself with live demo on hair makeup and face make up…. It was meant to be interesting…
The three speakers were the weight of the forum apart from our impressive stage presentation and venue. We had the biggest lecture hall that can accommodate more than 300 people. I admit I was real scared and in complete paradox about the emptiness of the hall. But I was proved wrong. Thanks to our 3 days of continued advertisement and mutual agreement between the other groups. 
At the end of the day, it is the effort that counts to be a success, though numbers are still doing the counting. It was a pleasure to share the space with our mentor, Ms Vivian. I solely appreciate the co-operation of my entire group esp. my President, and the Deco team. It was a show worth ticketing. There may not be a red carpet laid down for the event but the two white canvass boards to crave out every individuals signature curbed the red carpet away. 
It is to be remembered by all the blue ribboned tags hanging down the neck of every committee members.

  We expressed and so we impressed!!!

DA MARCH DAT STIL MARCHES.....

My eye fought against the drooping eyelashes even when it failed to wake open wide. Finally it lashed out of the sleeping dark to flap against the crack of the dawn. It was past 6:30am when I took a good glance at the buzzing alarm, still half awake. Draping the curtains to the side, I touched the first light of the day and tossed away my head from the kissing sun. I needed to rush myself to get early for the Wesak celebration. The previous night Wesak eve had gone smoothly with the Dhamma songs and Dhamma sharing program. But today, I was looking for extra Dhamma culmination and a wonderful lunch if fated. For the morning session, I had planned to go to BGF and lend some helping hand and of course enjoy realizing my being as a Buddhist. It was my first time to celebrate wesak in BGF, so I had little extra anticipation. Last year, I had joined BUBS for the wesak and I even had managed to do some Dhammadutta by helping out at the stall selling Tsai bakuteh. (A Chinese pork food, but altered to veg. for wesak sake) it was real hot although I had fun with it coz I didn’t know what I was selling at the time of selling. I came to know about it after I had closed down the stall. That was really ignorant of me. But this year was not going to stall again, that was for sure.  So as the day passed, I have captured a beautiful moment of life where I was full in with the people here- Listening to the Dhamma talk, singing some melodious songs along with Igemz and saving the good part for the last of the program, a nice simple lunch. Every grain that we eat must be repaid. So I did repay by contributing my energy in cleaning up the mess and packaging the excess food. It was time to head in another direction coz BGF is a smaller Buddhist society and they don’t drag the program whole day long so that the people can go to other bigger temple to give support.
For the evening celebration, I rushed to brickfields temple, which is one of the biggest temple in the country. I reached there just in time for the program to start. The veneration to the Buddha began with some kind of traditional Sri-Lankan dance followed by the usual political speeches. I gazed around to find myself at the front side of the stage. So I quickly dragged myself to the arena where people light oil lamps in their name. I had a smirk on my face when I saw the oil lamps literally. In my home, oil lamps are pure oil lamps with the purpose of ‘pure illumination’. Even here, it does signify ‘illuminating the dark world’ or “making aspiration” but they use half water and half oil. Oil and water don’t mix so it saves the cost. But the thousands lamps glowing in the dark was a salvation to the burdened heart. It was captivating and spiritual at the same time.
I followed back to the program. The grand long awaited time had finally arrived when the body of followers will flow in unison with the Buddha’s float all the way long in the heart of Kl city blocking all the traffics and holding the stares all around. After dragging on for few minutes, I found myself walking behind the float of a Mahayana Buddhist society. I was sure I was praying with the group but I was not sure what I was murmuring. I just followed the Chinese chanting and I was pretty quick to catch up the words. How far it was correct, the baby Buddha smiling in front of me could have known. I had persuaded my friend to join me till the bend in the road. I looked sideways to see if she was still there but expectantly she had walked back leaving an odd blue colored girl walking among the yellow colored shirts. I continued with my marching only to hear a tap on my shoulder, few bends down the road to know that she was still around and she dared not to leave me alone. It felt nice and strong.  We entered the city traffic with hundreds faces positioned like an avenue to have a glimpse of the huge long procession. Flashes on and off all the time and all I could hear was not my own chanting but the one which I was following. My eyes were fixed upon the baby Buddha spinning around in its first declaration pose “I am the king of this world; no-one is supreme to me. This is my last birth; there is no rebirth for me”. I was realizing, I needed to moisten my drying throat, so I took a mouthful of the small bottled water that I was carrying with me, saving the rest if needed. After walking long with the Mahayana group, I left that group to join another group coz my friend saw other good floats ahead of us. So we started with our hopping on. I joined another Mahayana group where a monk was seated on the lotus seat of the float. It was nice to see him participating but he was kind of meditating with his eyes closed. I felt bad at being so pessimist but I couldn’t let myself from thinking: how can he meditate in such a crowd? Maybe he was contemplating but contemplation is meditation. Isn’t it? Or maybe he was rejoicing within. Anyways leave that. So we took good many pictures of the float which was themed on going green and becoming a vegetarian. It was nice that at least it was conveying a message through Dhamma.  We progressed to walk ahead of that group to join the Ti-ratana Buddhist society. I didn’t walk with them for long and quickly joined a vajrayana Buddhist society- karma kargyud society. Three monks were seated on the float and chanting Muni Muni. (A Buddhist prayer).  By now I had walked almost one hour and half. The lingering crowd was still intact and faces along the way beaming yet astonished. I saw the twin tower, so I knew I was in the heart of Kl now. Wow! Such a long march! I chanted along with the group while my friend was busy taking pictures. I walked ahead of the float and so I came to meet up with Bro Kevin from Indonesia. He was walking alone and I caught up with him. By the time, we reached another roundabout, I lost the sight of him and that time I was catching up with the beats of Chinese songs sung by another youth group. I kept myself to their company only to get amused by the never heard Chinese songs. So I returned back to the vajrayana group. I noticed that they had erected two Mani on either side of the float and it looked great with the small Buddha statue placed in the mid at the far end with the three monks seated with reverence. The group was real active with the members stopping the entire float in the middle of the procession for a group photo. Though I was not associated with the society in any way, I still stood front for my face to appear. My friend was ridiculing me but it mattered less. By the time, we reached hotel Istana; my bottle had gone empty, so I quickly rushed in one of the 7-11 shop to buy a bottle of ice lemon tea. Few steps down the road, they were giving away free mineral water. But I already had brought my juice. We kept on marching, talking to ourselves while chanting. Slowly I hopped on to witness other groups. I saw a Nepali group behind and so I went there to be blessed by drops of the water that the monks were sprinkling at the crowd to soothe the heat though it was meant to be a blessing. Receiving few drops of water on me and more drops on my glasses, I moved ahead to join my last left group. By that time, Dee’s camera battery was down and so she was no longing acting as Japanese. So we walked on and on till we knew we have reached near. It looked up at the buildings to notice that we have been walking almost 2 hours and I was still feeling great. A pang of hunger once hit me when I smelled food from a restaurant coz I hadn’t taken my dinner and I had my lunch at 12pm. But I was still fine after gulping down the entire juice. I was messaging a friend of mine when the float hit the wirings at the highway. In fact it was the high flagpole erected at the sides of the float that touched the wires. So we had to stop a while to fix it. But thankfully it didn’t take long and made no damage or whatsoever. The float took a U-turn rather than following the procession. And so I left that group and walked back to the temple without any group.
It was almost 11pm when we reached. We had started at 8pm. That sums up that we have walked for almost 3 hours. It was definitely a rejoicing moment. I rested for a while and then helped with the clearance. It was 12pm when we headed back. We had a few good snacks not to let ourselves sleep with an empty stomach. I browsed for a while and then cuddled into the sweet paradise awaited.
Long before my head touched the pillow, I had drawn myself away from the pulsating moment of the night with my lips curled to the extent!

Teluk intan.... da drive 4 da leanin tower...

 

SOUTHWEST RECLINE..... 

 

SCRIBBLED YET ENCRAVED DEEP.

TEARS IN THE RAIN.....

Though its not raining at the moment, but the dampness caused by the flowing tears can be a rain enough. i hate to sob but i dont mind trickling drops of despair when i am drowned deep.

Today aint n important day in my calendered history but i am feeling so low and down. cant help myself to explain it. it never crossed my mind that i am so unsure about my emotions until i got to leash those trickling tears. besides I knew am tough at not spilling those rivers but the tears proved me worng again.

apologetically, i broke down again... i promised to be strong for you but you never cared to look back at me... see for yorself how hard am trying to be you. i fathom your inevitable law. I cant hear you but high above, can you hear me? I need you to read me....... its a sigh....

i was holding them back for so long and my dear chef broke that silence of my sobs. out of blue, he just apperared online and began talking to me. it was really nostalgic.....chef, u made me to cry a river... and i lost my tears at your courtsey.... i miss you and i made it known to you too. kitchen class is not delicious without you.... hshhhhh

oops!!!!!!!!! i have troubled myself again.... its chaotic to flow with your tears...
m adamant to fight it back.... cuddled in my soft strains, i trying to be hard enough to grasp it back...

P.S. I MIZ U... ...... hear me!!!!!!!!!!!