Today marks the official 4th day since the flash flood hit ladag. it
tears me down to visualize the scenario though i have seen the images
that are too disastrous to be true. I blame myself for not being there
in times of turmoil and need. Moreover, i am too helpless that i cant
soothe my fears and strengthen somebody's spirit. The communication
lines are dead and i am so graved in reaching out to them.I cant even
talk to my dad and my bro. and ma frnds n my teachers. my heart is
frailing with every seconds passing by.
I know my effort is in ruin but i cant accept that inability. i didnt give up even after trying to call my dad for the umpteenth time. I dont give a shit to the bad line: i just want to hear his voice and secure his presence in this world. i mean to be mean but that's all i can think of being. i called dawa(SL) and she tried to pacify me but i cant control the gush that is pouring out. ultimately i broke out after watching the BBC news and reading the paper. I repeated my effort again. after trying for an hour, i finally got the line. gosh..... it streamed joy to hear his voice again. i couldn't ask him about his well-being coz of the low battery but i know he is safe. and i am more than satisfied. guess, thats the feeling every daughter feels after hearing their dad's strong firm voice. and i pray every daughter share my joy and blessing in such uproar. Sadly, i couldn't have a dialogue with any other person. but i hope and pray they are safe and secure.... i called Dee to find her caught in insecurity. i tried so hard to be strong but i was not able to do so. its fathomable to be cried but it is unfathomable why mine are the only ones to be cried? why? pourqui?
gosh its so hard to go on about it. i need more space and wide privacy for my feelings to flow....
the only changes that have been happening in these times of dullness is that i have changed my deptt. i am working in kitchen now. first day.... n i am like... WTF..... this looks terrible for me only coz i am a non-malay speaking trainee. yeah, i am not a malay and you better not expect me to spit malay in response.... saya cakap malay sekit sekit tapi saya tak suka cakap malayu. faham tak? saya orang indya lapastu saya cakap bahasa hindi.
after working till 11pm, i went up to my room and on the way back i met shein. i expected her to ask me about my 1st day but no.... she asked...Y R U LUKIN SO STUPID??????????? is dat a question to be asked. dammit, i couldnt find any answer for her so i just ask back... M I LUKIN SO STUPID? but i can understand why she asked that. coz i was wearing the bis small size chef jacket with no apron and a black cap. and i looked like a dummy clothed with xtra-large size jacket.. i am kinda lost in it.... hehehe that was the joke of the day at night......
and so m online..... tomoro afternoon shift again.... so no worries.... i can sleep as long as i want. infact, today i promised KC to accompany her to watch Airbender but i was kind of not wanting to go. so i slept behind. i think i did a good thing in my decision coz the film started at 1pm and so i had no chance i can watch it as i have to be back in time for my work......
there is always a second time....,,, i luvit it....
well well.... i need to slow down now...i just sth else to browse over... i am anticipating gud news from leh...... FINGERS CROSSED,,,,,,, IN HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know my effort is in ruin but i cant accept that inability. i didnt give up even after trying to call my dad for the umpteenth time. I dont give a shit to the bad line: i just want to hear his voice and secure his presence in this world. i mean to be mean but that's all i can think of being. i called dawa(SL) and she tried to pacify me but i cant control the gush that is pouring out. ultimately i broke out after watching the BBC news and reading the paper. I repeated my effort again. after trying for an hour, i finally got the line. gosh..... it streamed joy to hear his voice again. i couldn't ask him about his well-being coz of the low battery but i know he is safe. and i am more than satisfied. guess, thats the feeling every daughter feels after hearing their dad's strong firm voice. and i pray every daughter share my joy and blessing in such uproar. Sadly, i couldn't have a dialogue with any other person. but i hope and pray they are safe and secure.... i called Dee to find her caught in insecurity. i tried so hard to be strong but i was not able to do so. its fathomable to be cried but it is unfathomable why mine are the only ones to be cried? why? pourqui?
gosh its so hard to go on about it. i need more space and wide privacy for my feelings to flow....
the only changes that have been happening in these times of dullness is that i have changed my deptt. i am working in kitchen now. first day.... n i am like... WTF..... this looks terrible for me only coz i am a non-malay speaking trainee. yeah, i am not a malay and you better not expect me to spit malay in response.... saya cakap malay sekit sekit tapi saya tak suka cakap malayu. faham tak? saya orang indya lapastu saya cakap bahasa hindi.
after working till 11pm, i went up to my room and on the way back i met shein. i expected her to ask me about my 1st day but no.... she asked...Y R U LUKIN SO STUPID??????????? is dat a question to be asked. dammit, i couldnt find any answer for her so i just ask back... M I LUKIN SO STUPID? but i can understand why she asked that. coz i was wearing the bis small size chef jacket with no apron and a black cap. and i looked like a dummy clothed with xtra-large size jacket.. i am kinda lost in it.... hehehe that was the joke of the day at night......
and so m online..... tomoro afternoon shift again.... so no worries.... i can sleep as long as i want. infact, today i promised KC to accompany her to watch Airbender but i was kind of not wanting to go. so i slept behind. i think i did a good thing in my decision coz the film started at 1pm and so i had no chance i can watch it as i have to be back in time for my work......
there is always a second time....,,, i luvit it....
well well.... i need to slow down now...i just sth else to browse over... i am anticipating gud news from leh...... FINGERS CROSSED,,,,,,, IN HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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