“When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.”

CAN I DENY DAT?????????

I m shocked @ myself dat m sheddin da last drop of tears 4 a passion dat i witnessin thru my eyes... drop by drop, the drops of tear ran into a short stream. the pooled eyes vould no longer stand da fullness dat it felt af8r so long.. so i let it out....  yeah ya,,,, i cried 4 a woman with whom i was walkin along with, through this whole 9 hours... gosh, i was thr wen she was born thru her strugle and now joinin in her success. just a min back i ws thr 2 celebrate her 40th b'day!!!!! happy b;day..... it gives me a deep warmth of a heart wen i cry 4 her... tears of joy though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it doesnt sound apt 4 my dried eyes to gather such a pool but it happened and i m releived. m astonished @ da whimp n da sobs dat i made.....  i know i can laugh @ dis but m okie wid da humour....

so now m closin dis thick chapter with the fingers already running through the pages of Borne identity!!!!

M closing for now.....

SENTIMENTATION!

NOT ALL SCARS SHOW!
NOT ALL WOUNDS HEAL!
SOMETYMS U CAN'T OLWEZ C DA PAIN SOME1 FEELS!!!!!

ITS BETTER 2 FEEL DA PAIN DAN FEELING NOTHIN!

AF8R ALL DIS VILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's like.. dead lokes scattered on the parched skin....
a thousand beads of perspiraton beaded on thy brow...
sea of tears oceaned in the pool of the eyes...
and streams of those tears running makin it way through the trodden path....
A SMIRK on the face of the self that knows nothin of SMILE...
least the sorrow that murks in the dark,
i stand close to the light that illuminates nothin of my plight...
stil I choose to squat under the scorching sun...
maybe a ray of sunlight can dry up my dried tears...
its hard to choose the smooth side of life....
coz m accustomed to the odd world of living!!!!
behold my bleeding heart <3!!!
i hve more 2 yell than to telll...
its a graveyard deep buried with the dead...
resurrection is envitable: after all these years of turbulant sleep...
maybe a coma was just an excuse to awaken the burdened soul...
weightened with the sack of endured lies and absorbed pain...
Now, i make a wish.... wishin dat it can be heard....
LISTEN  TO MY TEARS!!!coz m afraid my smile can drive u insane,,,
u need not stare @ my ghastly look...
coz i hav cupped my face in my hands.......
to refrain you from looking out for meh!!!!!!!!!!

but stil.... REACHIN OUT .....

HUSTLING WAVES 4OM WITHIN....

y everythin so confusing????????????

down came the reson when there was no sunshine!!!!!!!!!
longing for the moon to light up my motivation....

prefering to be a claustrophobic,,, but  am blind in my own terms!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!

IMAGINE UR IMAGE....

 ............IF
           .............YOU
WOULD SEEK TO
..............FIND YOURSELF
LOOK NOT INTO
.......................THE MIRROR
FOR THERE IS BUT
...................A SHADOW THERE.....

A STRANGER................

INK AND WATER DONT MIX....

................ who ever said? INK N WATER DNT MIX................
............ got da nerve to yell out dat i falsify dat theory..........
........... i witness da smirk on da face of my diary.....
....... when ma tears tiptoped quitely on ma scribbled words....
...... 2 devour da clarity of da spoken word....
..............  DA PICTURESQUE WAS MURKY,.,,,
,,,,,,,,   but i adorned da fact dat .....
   thy both mix 2 create a color 2 yet another aspect of life.....

give it 2 my interest.....
...... i smiled a smile after framing da picture dat...
... developed on da canvasss of my time n space....

ENCLOSED IN MA TEARDROP ADDICTION.....

p.s. IT TEARS ME UP TO TEAR YOU DOWN!!!

LAPSE....

it was in mymind 2 blog a while.. but thn other things cropped out of my mind...
m left wid nothin relai 2 yell out!!!!!!!!!
so waitin pateintly 4 da tide 2 uprise....
till thn wont b bloggin....

TAKEN IN 4 GRANTED?????????
Y ?????? MEH//////

i wondered n m stil wondrin.....

NOT ALONE... COZ M NOT ON AN ISLAND......??????? ode 2 Mj.

Another day has gone, I'm still all alone

How could this be you're not here with me

You never said goodbye, someone tell me why

Did you have to go and leave my world so cold?

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone, for I am here with you

Though you're far away, I am here to stay

But you are not alone, for I am here with you

Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone, why, 'lone
Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry

Asking me to come and hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand then forever can begin

INT'L CHEF DAY CELEBRATION........

da nitemare.... hasn;t last long... when da daymare started approachin....
..... strolled in da kolej af8r dat heavy rising,,,,,
..... corssed da threshold of da kitchen... but took da u-turn af8r c-ing da mushrooms.....
...... waited patiently n da patience paid back wid an avenge....
..... i smelled of kitchen odour, wen i took da trouble of smellin maself....
..... kickstarted da 3 hour in kitchen wid da demo by chef .....
.... i was 2 put my hands on da roja prep. ....
..... peelin, washin n cuttin....... cucumber, mango, guava.......
...... filmed thm on da platter n baid syanonara,.....
...... oh ya! da cel. in da courtyard,..... wid rock muzic n cookin competition in ful swing...

...... all da black head people in white chef dresss,,,,,,

............. da real white............. perfect whitet white....

..... trotted 2 da lib. commented on da comment card.......

.....strolled down 4 lunch.... limo teak....ice...
...... all in waitin 4 da eng. clas @ 3 wen da kitchen door flunged opened @ 2 ....
.... all in dilemma, in or not in..... @ da last, ushered in....
..... picked up da task by fillin water 4 heatin....

..... scambled wid da mussels.... discardin da unwanted hair.....

..... wid da ice slippin thru my fingers... made my way 4 da bigger platter....
,.... catchin da sight of da blanched mussels......
..... da dormant hormones got activated.....
.... hmmm started out my display creatifness,,,,,,
,,,,,, chef had a luk n a nod but da nod swayed 2 da side coz v all knew it was not gonna last long...
.... despair @ my display!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..... had enuf of da gas n da chiller.... so crawled back 4 eng. ......
      oh! 2 find none 2 lend my ear along.....
..... waited down da lift 4 some tummy fillin.. back again in da lift.......
..................class over............. dats it....
/////// basicali... chef day over wid just da chef dress on....

p.s. whole day in chef dress 4 da world chef day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dats how ma clebration worked out!!!!!!