VALENTINE BLUE'S

it is a hazy day with norms of cloud and speck of darker clouds...
 it is a cloudy day with inklings of love lost in the wind and blown to the shore....
it is a gusty breeze that is rushing up my breath....
i dont like the feel of it but i am in love with the cold breeze....
i am not addicted to the aura of love swirling in the air...
this time, last year was so different and so in love...
this time it is so out of love but so in love with it.....
guess... i am running for myself when i am walking out out of it....
i miss you, my valentine
but i am addicted to the missing part.....
i wish i was there with you ....
more than that i wished that i was never departed from you in the first place...


Happy valentine!!!!!!!!

P.S. you are reigning over me.....

SERIOUS CONFUSION??????????

Why cant the world be still?????????? it revolves doesn't mean it has to spin everything around in circles....
making living dramatic and complicated still more.....

This is a hard trial and a very hard effort to be still and not care about anything that falls in its place.....

Please Life.... be good to me and stop inflicting your complications on me....

P.S. I am still naive!!!!!!

NUMB FEELINGS....

lost in the wind of life.... or rather lost with the wind and blowing along with the speed....

I am not in the pensive mood to alter anything that is going on right now but i am adamnant to stay in place and time.... this is the threshold of living life out of pace....


cant even calm myself ... i know i can get you in the wing but i am engaged in arranging my flight towards you......

P.S. i still owe myself an apology....

SORROW OF A SMILE...

Its hard to erase the moment of the time gone by especially when it still pierces the heart....
 I wouldn't have gone by and leave everything behind in my trash if only you had the courage to stop me from moving ahead. It would be jealousy if  I stop myself from moving forward leaving you behind but you gave me that option which I had no desire for. I rather waited for you to give me only one option not to look ahead without you sharing the view, but alas! you didn't....
I would be scared to sail high with tears in between my smile... i rather cry and let the smile bloom after the tide has ceased..

SOBER YET FULL.....

It always goes back to the time when things were not as easy as it used to be... thoughts of love and anguish always lingers in my mind... i know not what to comprehend of the situation that i am balked in now...

its always tricky and misguided....

i need resilience and much more...

P.S. leave me liveless.....

BID ADIEU.....

Cold Autumn night and I am crawled in my bed thinking of the times when i felt warm in your arms. I was remembering the times when I stole away myself to see you and kiss you endlessly under the starlit sky. I remember longing for the day when i could freely walk in your arms and be with you forever. i didn't had the courage to walk out of my bed and rush into you but i gathered my heart to call you once again after those bitter moments. I missed you terribly and all I wanted was to hear you call my name yet again and whisper those magical words.
oh! boy, you did picked up the call and i heard you say my name but it wasn't the same anymore. I could feel the warmth in your voice gone and all i could feel was your objection to your words. You promised me my world and you were shunning you world onto me. If only you would believe me and my words, i promise life would have been a dream come true. I won't tell you to keep on loving me when all you have for me is lack of it and everything...
hold on boy, I am not deeply broken yet. i am just scattered within myself and  i am searching for the moment to gather up and get back to my own...

P.s. dont you feel sorry for the broken wings coz i still have the fleets to get on going...

SOMETIMES IN BETWEEN....

There were times when I thought of swallowing my pride and beg myself to go back to you. But There were also moments when I had the pride that I did the right thing in not looking back onto you or to the relationship that I chaptered in my life...

I miss you terribly but I know I have to move on not to miss my time. You had gone long before I stopped and now I cant rest to keep up with you....

P.S. I need to go but I can't go on ....

EXPANDABLE TRUTH...

The voice of my love...
flutes in with his move...
I hear him nearing...
when I look away from his wearing....
I take the chance to let him hold me ...
I dont make a minute move to thee...

SEARCHING YOU IN ME...

Whenever my day is over...
Before I let loose my hair...
Before I remove my nerdy looks...
Before I look at the blank wall...
Before I notice the setting of the time..
Before I put off those lights...
I always long to hear your voice....

Whenever the candles have been blown away...
Before I furrow in my bed...
Before I heave a big sigh....
Before I stare in the darkness....
Before I think of picking up my phone...
Before I call you like I always do...
I always wish to hear you whisper my name...

Whenever my head touch the pillows....
Before I wander in my dreams...
Before I look for you under my closed eyes...
Before I think of you yet again...
Before I sleep into another day....
I will always wish you be by my side when i wake up in the morning...

And believe your sleeping face before I start missing you again....

I wanna scream....

not much long ago, i was singing to the birds and whistling to the winds...
hours later, i was talking to the people and scribbling on the ground.
hour ago, i was fetching the water and mumbling to myself.
minutes ago, i was squealing like a animal and howling like a wolf.
seconds ago, i was raining the tears on myself and sobbing through the tears.
now, i am just standing and staring in the space.
i think i will burst out if somebody poked me.
i feel like losing myself to the wind and throbbing to the earth but all i can do is to wipe those tears away....
i can go wild any minute if you even look into my direction...
i think i am going to scream at the top of my lungs...

i wanna split this moment in countless pieces so that i can never jigsaw it again...