M BARELY HANGIN ON......

SHOCK  AND BEWILDERMENT.....
STANCE OF THE FAST PACED LANE....
THRONG OF PEOPLE CHAINED IN THE PUDDLES....
IT PIERCES THY HEART TO HEAR THE AGONY THAT CRIED IN DESPAIR....
HOME OF MANY BROOMED IN THE RUBLES.....
HOW CAN NATURE WITCH THE VALLEY THAT WAS TOO INNOCENT TO BE CRAFTED...
EVEN FATE CANNOT DECIPHER THE CODE THAT PLAYED SO CRUEL...
PEOPLE OF THE VALLEY ARE IGNORANT OF GRUESOME TRICKS...
SPARE THE LIVES THAT ARE BLOOMING AT ITS MIGHT...
IT WRETCHES ALL SOULS TO HEAR BETTER SOULS SCREAM IN ISOLATION....
ITS TOO HARD TO BADE GOODBYE...
ITS TOO SOON THAT NAMES ARE ERASED FOREVER.....
AND ITS NOT THE MOMENT TO PRANK THE SOLEMN HEARTS....

THOUGHTS SMEAR....... AS INK DOES.....

words echoed in the cold empty room...
and conversation fell onto deaf ears.
I am nobody's somebody to have a say
but i am somebody's nobody to lend a ear...

feelings for the right ....
and fighting for the wrong...
what sense does it make ...
when i am deeply illusioned???????????

mirages formed on the outlines...
images captured on the periphery...
how well a painting can be painted...
if the painter is not smeared in the ink...

P.S. THOUGHTS SMEAR....... AS INK DOES.....

SCENE OF SELECTION.....

Untold lies and truth unspoken....
all dreams are real till i am woken...
but not all dreams are woven...
partly are they real- broken...
reality may not appeal the heart- wrecken...
but dreams fill up the gaps- sicken....
cant you not see the girl sodden...
in the tears that were blacken..
rekindle the mercy in those eyes- redden...
coz cold-eyes pierce my heart- weaken...
i am frail in my moments -shaken...
i have clang onto your faith- strengthen...
drape me around you -
and here i tighten my lashes- forcefully....

THE NIGHTMARe didnt turn into a DAYMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally i can heave a sigh of relief... i am so done wid ma crazy nightmare that i had dreamt long time back ... i guess a month back to be exact. well, it has something to do with my final exam, the papers that went so badly that i could hardly accept it.
i can still feel the guilt that i felt at that hour: that i can almost scream now if i have the space. but guess what? i never thought my result could be so soothing and unexpected. it was an unexpected but still welcomed.
i shitted a lot about my accounts paper in my post, well... surprisingly, i got a lot more than i ever figured out. hmmm its sounds so very money now.... balance sheet and accounting profit...

 i also butted myself at the worst of my language for my marketing paper but now when i look at my result, i am just left with WOW!!!!!!! wonderful of the wonderfullest.......hehehe
And i got full on in English...  i luvit...       
one thing damn thing,,, i got so low in my F$B..... gosh that was the easiest paper as far as i remember. how can i be so low in that? plus that's my lowest marks in my entire course... that bad... i need an explanation to convince myself...


MY RESULT LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS......

Name: TASHI YANGZOM

Student ID: 0904JH87622

Programme: Diploma In Hospitality Management

Semester/Term: 4 (Apr-2010 - Jul-2010)

Exam Type: Term 4 Examination
Subjects:

#	Code	Subject	Marks	Grade	Points	Remarks
1	ACCD415	Cost Accounting & Elements of Budgeting	16.10	-	-
2	ASCD414	Food Science & Sanitation 2	17.00	-	-
3	CULD461	Kitchen Op. 4	17.40	-	-
4	ECOD420	Principles of Economics	19.20	-	-
5	ENGD403	Business English - D	20.00	-	-
6	FBSD451	Food & Beverage Op. 4	14.50	-	-
7	FREG105	Basic French 1	16.20	-	-
8	MKTD423	Customer Relations & Sales-D	18.80	-	-
9	RDOD441	Room Division Op. 4	18.73	-	-
		Semester/Overall Average:	17.55

i dunno what to say more....but i am content that i could keep my marks in the same level..neither rise nor drop... stagnant.... which can be otherwise described as CONSISTENT....

P.S. ............... I could have done a lot more better but i didn't get worse... that's da thing... 
M RELIEVED.... AND IT MATTERS...... A LOT...

BEAchin.... in da closed walls.....

well... i was off for today.... i was happy i could sleep like a log. its been like for eternity since i last slept so well. the alarm that i make to shout at me every morning was also sleeping but i was accustomed to the 6:30am race. so expectantly, out of routine, i opened my eyes just to see the time and close back again. it was almost mid-day when i fully woke up to freshen myself and have a good heavy lunch....

i was tempted to go to the beach with my friends but i had promised my room mate to accompany her to see the doctor. so, unwillingly, things fell in bad shape.... but there is always a second chance.... and m gonna prove it....

tomorrow shift starts at 4pm till 12am... so i will have more than enough of rest that my body can ever have...
hope the business tomorrow wont effect my goody mood...

gotta meet somebody in ma dreams... so tugging in the warmth....

SEA OF SEA aNd BEACHES.......

Aite.....

These days everything that i post goes by the beach/sea coz m by it and m loving it especially the view in the MORN..... it takes your breath away... you flip your eye lashes to the flap of the waves and flicker your ears to the sound of the shores.... it so amazing when you just hear the waves flap against the shore, so violently with so much of peace inside... as if everything is falling into the universe and you are devoured in the tides of eternity...

 i slide open the glass door to the wide field of forceful morning waves... the fresh breeze rush through my hair and whisper to my skin.... m alive and i am dwelling in the moment of  sea..... it travels through my breath and journey to the rusty city life... m bathed in the drops they sprinkle on my face... it is luxurious and its elaborate...

Drops of hot caffeine enters me and I devour both the flavor and the warmth.... its replenishing and relinquishing... the apt coolness to bring down the heat and the good warmth to heat up the cold... its like experimenting with the elements of nature in the aura of nature..... its platonic and its natural.....

the sea after the heavy downpour is a treat to the eyes... once more, i stalked the balcony to see the change of weather but my gaze turned towards the sea.  I am blessed again in the EVE... the margins of muddiness no longer exist as the ripples formed engulfs the calamity and the whole sea is returning to the sate of peace.....in par with the drops that's trickle and fall into it....
the horizons no longer separates the sea from the land. they have merged into one and i am floating on  the land of sea. the misty air filled the atmosphere with must and freshness.... its like whole of it is waking up again like they do in the morning before the sun touches the horizon....
i could no longer see the flashing of the waves but i can hear the shores being hit by the waves.....

it is a sight to be longed for..... the trickles of the sea plays the music like the drops in the rain....
it hits the chord of the heart and leaves you stunned..... like in a TRANCE.....

troublesome BITTERNESS.....

draggin along the sand of lifes piiful emotions.....
guess m left wid only the slipping particles.....

 welll.... how do i go about it? its fairly unjustice that i am left to be left behind. but i can justify the Karma that edged so slow and at the right hitched pace..
.. m lost but m stil in direction!!!!!!!!! how can i say about it?
i am destined to be here,,, and i am fated not to be hapless....

something is bothering me... but i cant understand how can it bother me?
its a frail story and i have played no part in it. but deep dowm i am at guilt.....
i dunno why??????????

show me some shooting stars..... i can realy wish a wish right now!!!!!!!!!!

occupied.... by the sea...

the spread of the blue sea, just after the torrential rain promises a new outlook to living,,,, life by the sea....

it has been almost a week since i arrive here in penang,... well i was not at all ready for this training and looks like i am still not grasping it. the bus ride from Kl was pleasant and the stay here is also treating me well. thtas coz m accomodated in the hotel room itself, kinda good for me.
i trained myself in banquet first. i accepted it with fleeting steps and work overload but also with ample of breaks. i moved to F$B. trust me, it suxs. partly coz it is buffet style and there's nothing much to about it. plus i can't get to nibble anything. that's real torture..... if you ask me... positioned like a walking pillar!!!!!!!!

i cant comment much about the hotel standard but one thing is so apparent.... the star rating.... now i know the difference between budgeted and high-budgeted hotel... gosh.... it has an ocean of difference.

one thing,...i hate the most... eveybody give me that terror look when i tell them m from indya.... gosh... just learn it and accept it... m sick of answering the same question umpteenth time from the different mouths. when i tell the truth, they just dont believe me but when i lie about it, they are greater fools to accept it... whats wrong with the world and the people in it? esp the people here..... for god sake, read the geography of indya... not all Indians are tamils and not tamilians are true indians.... for your own sake, go beyond the tamil knowledge.  i am sick of giving out the information.... you are getting over my head..... LOL.... and i hate terrorism and i am sick of seeing that terror face when you encounter me... i am not an alien in indya...
never seen an Indian out side India?

anyways,, people here are weird as they look.. nothing surprising. the beach is cool but i cant find my way and time to get there... it s high time, i stroll around to get a sniff of the island...

its also time i curl back into bed... coz tomorrow i am working 7-3 pace...it is sickening but i am a servant...

ORDER GIVEN IS ORDER TAKEN.....

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.... admit it.... u r not alone..

It’s hard to say good bye… hard! Nah, infact it’s not viable to bade goodbye.

I show no keen to know the day you floated away... but I detest the day today…

How happily I jumped on your wall to wish you the most beautiful day of your life. I truly meant to be the first to wish you. I looked further down to check any first wishes but good lord, all the wishes told a different tale. Dammit, it was your BIRTHDAY! For lord’s sake!!! The messages lying down there pierced my eyes when I read it. It should have been something like… HAPPY BIRTHDAY instead of DEEP CONDOLENCES… it must be some kind of joke… but such ghastly joke...Nah, did I really read your name or was it another person with your name.  No, it says the body will arrive in our home… does that mean it is really you???????  I can’t fathom the words…I think I am fooled….oh gosh,,, it was your good damn birthday…. How can anybody just change the day????????
It narrates the story of the incident and it wrecks my heart to imagine the agony you have endured at THE critical moment of your life. It was a matter of your life and death, for lord’s sake. How can they not see it?????????? Fools are they, who blinded their conscience and caged you away from us. Can they not, look upon the path where they are heading? Though I understand the impermanency of life, but then, why must you be the victim among all?
I scrolled down to see that you have left me a message on the 1st of july. Yeah! Now I well remember it. You talked about your beautiful days with the snow and that you are back to work. You were telling me to take care of myself. I wrote you back at that instant but now I am not sure whether you read it or not?
How were you so sure of your departure? Coz you never wrote to me in one whole year but informed me of your presence two days before you shunned down.

I am still living in obscurity. Can there be no news????????  You have isolated me in deep fear…

Good young lad you were!!!! Responsible, caring and a lovely brother…  I can hardly trace the lines where we had each other’s company coz you have erased all possibilities of revival. But you live in our hearts…. And you are still the big young brother, I ever had!!!

I grief in your absence for the love that will never float again, for the lovely family that you have left behind and for the world, who lost you!!!!!

Hundreds and thousands of words can be written below your epitome but it seems futile coz you won’t care to read it. The care is less cared, yet alone, when you are missing from the crowd.


P.S. I MIZ U…HOW Can u justify your act of departure by just leaving a frail note of Take CARE….

THE LONELY link.... chained ...

 YOU ARE YET ANOTHER BELIEVER!!!

HELD ONTO THE FAITH OF LONESOME...

SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT...

EVEN THE SILENT SEA DOES THE WHISPER LOUD...

PAINT THE GLO0MY CANVAS....

EVERYTHING IS STILL IN THE WAIT OF THE HOUR....